Why Are Backhanded Compliments Assumed To Be Okay?

You've heard it before. "You're so pretty for a (insert minority here) girl." or "You're cool, you're not like other girls." or the oh so common, "You're smart, you're not like those other (insert minority here)."

Just so you know, those aren't real compliments and you sound like an idiot. For one, my positive attributes shouldn't be in relation to other people and second, don't insult an entire group of people just to uplift me. I don't want that. I'm not okay with it and it just makes me feel like I'm constantly on a timer until I piss you off and you throw it in my face that you thought I was different but you guess not. Like if I show signs of being "just like" other women or other black people that you'll cut me off and honestly? I hope you do, or I'll cut you off before you even think we're close. I don't need people in my life like that.

Just, before you say something to someone think to yourself: Is what I'm saying actually a nice thing to say or am I coming off as a certified asshole? Think about it, and if you find out that yes you sound like a jerk then don't let it come out of your mouth.

Monitoring what you say. One of the marks of a decent human being.


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